I received an email this morning asking me to write about Christian dating since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Good call. Dating itself is a very modern idea in the scheme of things, so looking for a verse from Jesus and company with the words dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, shorty, or boo won’t work. However, the scriptures teach us how to think, not just what to think. With this in mind there are some verses that apply.
Who should a Christian date? First, Christians are not to be yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). A yoke was a device that kept animals attached and going in the same direction, and I’ve yet to see a dating couple that doesn’t have this same quality. Thus, Christians date Christians. But here’s the real question: If Jesus is your Lord, your all consuming passion, if you could say that “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21) then why would you want to date someone that doesn’t agree? Seriously. I don’t buy it. Read one of Paul’s letters and then try to imagine him dating Ashley, the non-Christian, from down the street.
Assuming you’re a Christian that is dating another Christian, then what kind of physical contact is appropriate? I shouldn’t even have to say this, but I will. Sex is for marriage. The scriptures couldn’t be more clear. A Christian having sex outside of marriage is a reason for not associating with that brother or sister (1 Corinthians 5:11-13), and people living in sexual immorality or sensuality won’t inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21). This sounds harsh, but only because we have grown up in an era where holiness in the church is foreign (1 Peter 1:14-19). Jesus even taught us to avoid lust, and he followed up that bit of advice with the suggestion that we tear out our eyes if it helps us avoid hell (Matthew 5:27-30). Any situation where you are in lust is inappropriate (dating or not). When I was dating my wife I knew that lust was nearby, so we decided to not kiss until our wedding day. Yes, you read that correctly. You make your own decision about boundaries, just don’t lie to yourself about what you can handle. Beyond the more obvious sex and lust issues, we must also keep our conduct honorable, abstaining from passions of the flesh, to set an example for the world (1 Peter 2:11-12).
Few things have the ability to glorify God more, or tarnish his name more, than the way we approach dating. Act wisely.
